Now I can’t tell you exactly when I started hating the Bruins – I think it was just something I adopted over the years. Maybe it was the fact that I disliked proto-power forward Cam Neely, that they stole away ‘knuckles’ Nilan and ran him ragged, or maybe I couldn’t stand that they signed one of my favorite goalies of all time back in the 90s – Andy Moog…

Sorry Pat. That was blasphemy...

All I can tell you is, over the years I’ve grown to dislike the Bruins more and more every year. Up in my neck of the woods, there aren’t too many B’s fans. Perhaps its due to the large number of Franco-Ontarians in the area, or its close proximity to the self proclaimed centre of the hockey universe, Toronto (more like the sucking wound, or smelly arse-hole.) But after last year’s performance, a few more fans have popped out of the woodwork. Have they removed the paper bags off their heads, stepped out of the closet and embraced who they truly are?

I don’t know, and I don’t care. True fan or fairweather fan, if you sport the Black and Gold, I hate you and the team you support. The sad thing is, they start young too.

He may be cute - but he's evil!

This is my friend Aaron. He and his wife just had a bouncing baby boy last week, and I couldn’t be happier for the two of them. The child is going to have a great upbringing because the two of them are absolutely great people. Then I saw this, and now I don’t know what to think any more.

Then it dawned on me… he named the boy… Cameron. At first I thought – hey that’s a great name. I know a few Cameron’s and they’re pretty good guys. Then the hamster started turning the wheel in my head and the light went on and then… Cam! Uh-oh.. seriously?

I think this may be the first baby I am forced to hate. I’ve sent a care package to reverse the damages… I hope its not too late.

See. Look how HAPPY this kid is.

I’ll have to check in on them tonight to see how they’re doing. Perhaps the fever will pass and everything will be back to normal. Perhaps that case of Tim Thomas-itis won’t progress into that terminal disease called Neely-ism. Either way, there’s going to be a long road to recovery. I hope he’ll pull through and be the inspiration for all babies suffering all over the world.

That’s right, Habaneros – I care. I care about the children.

Oh yeah, and about that game tonight – Habs 3-1 for the win. I consulted some expert opinion on this, but I wanted to be a bit more cautious.

DA HAABBSSSS... 42, BAH-STAN... ZIP - If coach Gainey laces up da skates... Habs 200, BAH-stan zip.

Our boy Jaro Halak is expected to start tonight, so let’s give him all the help he can get so we can get a leg up on our hated rivals. With the way the new guys have been putting the puck into the net lately, we could see a 42 goal win…

Here’s to being optimistic.

FROMAGE! Take a picture - you won't see this face too often.

So our boy Jaro Halak is getting some solid time between the pipes. For a guy who was never really given much of a shot to compete for the starting role ever (think back 3-4 years ago – did he even register with Habs fans) he sure is making the best of his situation. Now, I know he got shelled last night and looked tired and hung out – but that comes with the territory.

Think of it this way – he plays as a backup, so that earns you 20 games maximum in some situations. If there’s an injury (like last year) you may find yourself playing 25-30 tops. The rigours of an 82 game schedule creep up very quickly, and if you’re not in game shape, both mentally and physically – you’ll suffer. Sometimes its even harder to come back after an off night, and the bad mood lingers (ask Andrew Raycroft about that one.) Point is, Halak is a good goalie – but he needs more back-to-back-to-back starts to get him into shape for longer stretches.

The way I see it, I don’t think he’s going to be sticking around in Montreal for very long. He’s a solid goalie reaching the prime of his career, and could do well in a fill-in role on a struggling team in order to boost their stats and Jaro’s confidence. If the Habs play their cards correctly, we could come out with a decent return, as we have some depth at the backup goaltending position this year. Perhaps Jaro is there as a safety net for Carey Price – who doesn’t appear to be too interested in elevating his game beyond his current skill set. Who knows? Either way, there’s question marks in goal again this year – and after a few short games into the season, Habs fans have already begun to lose faith in their number one pick and are raising concerns as to whether or not he is a first round bust.

I’m not going to go that far, yet. If Price can’t challenge Halak for the starting job, and plays with minimal effort and has no confidence, then maybe. I don’t see any Toskala or Raycroft syndrome sneaking in just yet. You can credit some of our losses to poor defensive play and bad bounces. That just seems to be the way things have gone lately – key injuries, players still trying to adjust, and a lot of backpedaling. I think the Habs are in a movement phase – trying to push, shove and squeeze their way into a comfortable position before finally settling in to something that works for everyone in the system.

Perhaps the goaltending situation is unique – it always seems the goalie with the least amount of pressure and expectations plays the best. Check out this interesting history. After Roy was dealt, look at how the Habs goalie situation developed.

- Patrick Roy leaves and Jocelyn Thibault is put in place to fill the role
- Thibault struggles and is assisted by Andy Moog
- Moog retires, Thibault continues to struggle and is traded for Jeff Hackett
- Hackett plays solid, but struggles with injuries and is supplanted by prospect Jose Theodore
- Jose Theodore plays well for a number of years, but loses focus and is often injured, and he is replaced by Cristobal Huet
- Huet plays well, but conditioning is a major concern, and Price is given the nod to replace him after stellar play
- Price is struggling as a starter, and now Halak seems to be getting more games

Interesting trend. But this is a discussion for another post.

We can clearly see some changes coming in Montreal – who knows if it is a shift in the focus of the goaltending situation or not. We do know that Martin will ride the hot goalie when confidence is needed. Jaro Halak has returned some of that confidence, but how long can that last? Habaneros are wondering what the future will hold for Halak as well – does he want to stick around, or does he want to try his hand at being a number one somewhere else and follow in the footsteps of guys like Kiprusoff and Turek – journeymen who never really got a fair shake at the starting position…

I keep saying this over and over – the time is right to get good value for our boy Halak. He loyally served the bleu, blanc et rouge and its time he gets some cred for being a solid goalie. I just want to make sure we got something decent in return. Here’s another question – will we ever see another homegrown goaltending prodigy playing for les Glorieux?

Apparently this is some witches brew of natural stimulants mixed in with beer or something. Leave it to the Quebecois...

Umm. These groups complaining have never seen Georgie-boy stickhandle, have they.

The problem in question is a group of sexily dressed women playing street hockey, with gratuitous T & A shots throughout the ad. All of a sudden Laraque shows up with these awful beer/red bull concoctions, and plies the girls with the drinks so he can have his way with them.

Aww yeah... wet T-Shirt night in Canada

Well, I made that last part up – but its sort of true, because there is no freakin way Georges could stickhandle his way through 5 people unless he got them hammered. Or rung their bells first and gave them a concussion. Check it out….

Seriously, ladies. The ad could have been way worse. Its extremely tame by today’s standards. If you want to complain about shows that objectify women, have Soap Operas cancelled. There’s more gratuitous garbage in those shows than this cheaply made low run ad that will get little to no coverage outside of Quebec. But guess what – now it has a National audience, and sales of Octane will probably go through the roof.

Sometimes complaining does more damage than good. I could understand if Georges busted through the door and started pummeling the girls – then yeah. Maybe you’d want to complain about that.

... and he has a trophy to prove it.

But its summer, the girls are wearing little clothing while playing street hockey in a deserted neighbourhood. But what about the kids in the area?

Who said hockey wasn't sexy?

Heaven forbid they see whats going on and one of them gets his first boner. The world will surely end. What boggles my mind is why the director of the vid or the marketing agency who came up with the idea or the girls themselves weren’t targeted or under fire?

Nope – lets go for the big hulking hockey player – because surely, he was the mastermind behind the whole thing and is a role model to kids and we don’t want them getting the wrong idea.

WHAT? THIS GUY BEATS PEOPLE UP FOR A LIVING! THAT IS NOT A ROLE MODEL.

If people feel Georges Laraque is a role model, they need to get their heads checked. Sure he may contribute to charity work and is a good media presence, but he’s an enforcer. He fights in order to send a message to other teams – not to other KIDS! “Hey kids – in order to send a message to your opponent, beat the snot out of him or her so they know who’s boss.”

Can we spend less time finding things to complain about and spend more time and energy focused on more important things – like trying to find a cure for stupidity?

I just trade stupid people away. Or send them to Hamilton with the rest of the donkeys.

Anyone got a plug?

The expectations are high for Carey Price – playing in BC in front of friends and family, a start against the winless Vancouver Canucks, and the opportunity to prove himself in front of everyone that he is an elite caliber goalie. Somewhere along the way, the wheels fell off and the Habs road trip suddenly looked like a clunker on the side of the road. After two standout performances where he was able to stand on his head and keep the team in the game, Carey Price was less than mediocre in the net and it showed.

Despite the lack of help on defense (and offense), Price reverted back to his timid shell, playing shallow in the net, making poor choices in positioning, and letting the faults of the team get to him in a negative manner. The best goalies are able to shake off the negative and turn it into a positive. They learn from poor play and build confidence from it. They are able to carry a team on their back and act as the example – to elevate a player’s game and perform beyond expectation and without excuses.

Price just didn’t have it in him.He looked like he was on a cigarette break on some of the goals.

"A-LOO-ET-TAH... SMOKA CEE-GA-RET-TAH"

Call it the jet-lag. Blame it on the defensive lapses. Do what you will, but at the end of the day, a loss is a loss and an excuse is just a thinly veiled disguise for shifting blame. We don’t need to press the panic button just yet – but we do need to use this loss as an example of what the team is severely lacking in, and that is adapting to the strengths of opponents. Its widely known that we have extremely fast and small forwards. We also have big slow footed defensemen. We also have a hard hitting checking line. But for the first 2-3 games, the Habs were moving – last night it looked like they were skating through mud, and for a guy like Hal Gill who is already slow, he may as well just stood behind Carey Price in goal since he wasn’t moving to begin with.

A late flight from Calgary is apparently to blame for the poor state of the team.

Another excuse. I don’t know about you, but if I’m being paid millions of dollars to perform at a certain level and there’s an expectation, you know I’m going to damn well try to fufill those expectations. Some guys couldn’t be bothered. It may be the start of the season, but losses at the start often come back to bite you in the ass come playoff time.

What?

Get some rest, skate hard and keep your head on straight. Do St Pat proud, because he expects no less.

Tell them how you REALLY feel, Pat.

Good riddance.

Last I checked, a team has players unified for a common goal. When you introduce personal needs and desires, you begin to lose sense of roles and duties. I believe we have a problem amongst some of our young Habs. Some feel they are an integral part of the machine, and this sense of entitlement clouds their judgment. Face it, Sergei – even Putin is doing the Russian equivalent of the facepalm after the public demands.

Ugh, this boy. He is smart like goat.

That takes balls – seriously. How many people have gone up against Gainey (one of the most revered Habs in the modern age) and won? Like seriously won, where hey have forced his hand and made him cave to their demands. Not a single one. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, he’s already felled the dreams of 3 other Russians looking to walk amongst the hallowed Habs greats. Sure, Gainey may not be well liked amongst the media and critical fans, but there’s one thing you don’t do to your team, and that is bite the hands that feeds. At this point, our friend is now sitting in suspended animation – unable to play for Hamilton and unable to play for Montreal. So instead of taking his frustrated forward show down to the AHL while his agent orchestrates a deal in some manner, he goes on the record and sprays shit everywhere like a spoiled dog who is left home alone while his master is out.

Darth Gainey speaks the truth.

Its all about receiving attention. Fragile egos need it. Weak characters crave it.

Well, if there’s any gift that Sergei will receive in the near future, you can bet it will be one of two things. A plane ticket to Siberia, or a chunk of humble pie.

This pie looks great, but will probably make you sick - like Kostitsyn

Pack your bags, Sergei. You’ve worn out your welcome. Maybe you can learn from your elder countrymen and get some tips on swindling North American teams out of money from Yashin. Oh, and tell Perezhogin that Drew Stafford says hello.

When he comes back, I'm going to knock his head clean off his shoulders and back to Russia.

Meh, 'sti la merde sudoku!

So we’ve had about 5 preseason games out there, and the fantasies of the Habs faithful have placed Cammalleri with Gionta and Gomez in one line as the collective ‘eggs in one basket’ line. I’ll admit, it would be nice, but reality dictates that teams will take advantage and exploit your weaknesses on other lines if you were foolish enough to do that – not to mention that these diminutive forwards are all under 6 feet and probably pretty easy to throw around.

Jacques Martin has been experimenting with line combinations and it appears that Gomez and Cammalleri will be on the top line with Andrei Kostitsyn. Brian Gionta will be on the second line with Tomas Plekanec and Travis Moen. Smart moves, provided the players on the line do their part. The first few games we’ve seen Cammalleri begin to click with Gomez and Kostitsyn. One guy draws the attention, the other cycles the puck and gets it to the sniper for the goal. Hockey fundamentals.

Nowadays, too many players try to wear too many hats. You see Power Forwards who are trying to pull off fancy dekes and footwork and snipers getting into scuffles and throwing big reckless hits. A team is comprised of 23 players. Each with an individual set of skills that plays an integral part to the teams success. When you have goons trying to score, and forwards trying to play defense, the critical balance is thrown out of whack.

Get all the skaters to hit 88mph!

I think we may be able to get back on course, provided the roles are blended correctly. With time these formulas could prove to be very successful – but we only have a few short days to put the solution into action. I’m praying there’s some Doc Brown or Doctor Horrible in Jacques Martin’s master plan. Chemistry has never really been our strong suit – in fact, I think we’ve received a failing grade every year. If Gainey is looking for a new solution, now is the time to put it to the test. To the laboratory!

Hey - at least I'm not like that dumbass Demers. I can read, tabarnak.

I wrote an article about Carey Price a few months back, just shortly after the Habs made their exit in the playoffs. People were jumping on his back and calling for a trade and all this mumbo jumbo about how terrible he was and that he was no longer the star of the future and so on and so forth. (You can read it here at Associated Content)

Jeez… gimme a break. The kid is in his second year, under the media spotlight and in one of the worst cities for public criticism in hockey. If that wouldn’t make you collapse, I don’t know what will. It would be enough to drive me to drink, or do something stupid. Either way, if Price was the problem, he would have been shipped out by now. But he hasn’t, and he won’t for a while. He’s a highly regarded prospect in Gainey’s eyes and knowing him as well as we do now – we know he has absolutely no patience for guys who dog it and don’t chip in. I can relate to that, and  I agree with his stance. So this is the focus of today’s post – players who have been in MY doghouse from years past.

I promise I won't shit on the rug again.

.

Remember these guys? Currently they’ve all been relieved (thankfully) of their duties with the bleu. blanc et rouge.

Mike Ribeiro -This lazy forward with the biggest lips in hockey were sent packing (ahem.. diving) to Dallas.
Sheldon Souray – The cement footed defenseman was left to walk after finally pulling his pants up from around his ankles.
Jose Theodore – After years of pulling his hair out over letting in bad goal after bad goal, he was shipped off to the lowest bidder.
Alexander Perezhogin – Mr. “I’m worth more in Russia” should have considered taking up baseball for more of a lucrative payday.
Michael Ryder – When this big dumb Newf figured out how to score, he was already on another team (looks like his career as a garbage man is really taking off.)
Mikhail Grabovski – Third line talent with first line mentality – I thought this was reserved for players who were past their prime and couldn’t let the sport go?
Patrice Brisebois – Bruce Springsteen wrote ‘Glory Days’ for this guy - they past him by just like opposing skaters did nightly.

Currently, there’s a few dogs on the team right now that I’d like to see put down (I think I’m going to regret using that metaphor later…)

Ryan O’Byrne – People who know me personally know how much I dislike him. He’s a younger, less intelligent version of Hal Gill. If you’ve ever had Gill on your team, you understand my frustration.

which leads me to:

Hal Gill – I’m not exactly sure where this guy fits in to the system. We replaced all our power forwards and energy line guys with 30 goal scorers, which would mean we’re looking for speed and mobility, and then we bring down the average by signing this lumbering redwood tree. My guess is they’re going to place Gill behind Carey Price to force him not to play so deep in the net, and as insurance to stop errant pucks from going in. (He’s our Mr. Sieve)

Georges Laraque - Sure he’s tough, sure he’s French, but he’s NOT a contributor to the play or an energy line guy. I love the guy when he’s fighting and banging, but I don’t like when he’s wheeling aroud the net looking for garbage goals. I’m worried that his personal attempts to become a rehabilitated scrapper may soften his hands and his style, and negate the main reason why we have him out there in the first place. He was given a gift – and that gift is to break faces, not score goals.

Now things could change this season and some of these guys may not be in the dog house for much longer. We’ll have a follow up post (a series) as the season goes on. There will probably be some additions to the doghouse, and there may be some strays set free. In a perfect world, all these dogs would be purebreds – but when the expectations are as high as they are in Montreal, there’s a fat chance of that happening.

I may be in the dog house now, but I'll punch my way out if I have to.

My fellow Habaneros I present to you, our shrimps – Mike Cammalleri, Brian Gionta and Scott Gomez.

When you have 3 guys all under 6 feet signing in a hockey hotbed like Montreal, that title is what it amounts to. Three shrimps with the potential for being really tasty (read: skilled) dangling precariously over the flames (read Montreal fans + media). With enough careful prodding and pressure, these three shrimps could turn out to be one of the best combo lines in the game, despite their stature. That’s how I’d prefer it – all under the radar, not making big waves, just being motivated and supported enough to keep clicking and producing. They go out there and give it their all every shift, and if they dog it, we let them know it. I’d like to call that the ’slow cook’, under even heat.

We all know there’s always one jackass at a barbecue gathering that insists on turning up the heat because they’re impatient and figure more heat = quicker end result. Sure the heat provides instant results, but often burns out anything placed within it in short order. You could have a prime slab of beef (Read: Kovalev) but if you turn it up to much, you end up burning it out and you have to discard it.

Ow dude. That's hot.

I think we have a lot of these jackasses in Montreal. Hopefully, the king of the grill (read: Gainey) has the patience to put up with the fans over developing his talent, because after awhile we know he’ll end up being thrown upon his own fire.

See this? - Trust me, you don't want any of this. This old dog is gonna taste like shit.

Are any of you Habaneros out there hungry? I know I am. Bring on the season!

So the slapped together plan for a Centennial outdoor game has been scrapped, finally. I don’t really see the need to have an outdoor game for the sake of having an outdoor game. Sure, you could argue that its for the Centennial and that’s reason enough, but most Habs fans like me just want to put that 100th year to bed since it was such a disaster and just forget about it and move on. We can have the other Big O at the Big O another time.